Out of the Box for Life

Warren Berland, Ph.D., LCSW

231 West 29th St., Suite 301, New York, NY 10001, 212/645-5332

Key Points

1. The in-the-box perspective is one in which you feel stuck, constricted, upset, frustrated, angry, victimized, judgmental, and powerless to change how you feel and what you think, and your choices and actions will always reflect this.

2. The out-of-the-box perspective is one in which you feel free, open, clear, empowered, confident, satisfied, and able to make choices. Your choices and actions will always express this.

3. The ego is that part of the personality that acts as a veil or shield obscuring who we really are. It keeps us focused on what is wrong, and keeps us separate from ourselves and others.

4. You are not your ego, your doubts, fears, insecurities, or worries. It will do everything it can to keep you from this perspective, and maintain its control.

5. The out-of-the-box perspective is one that is separate from the constraints of the ego, and therefore immune to anything that has occurred before.

6. This perspective reveals who you really are--your true self--and is always there waiting for you.

7. Nothing that has ever happened to you could ever have affected, hurt or limited your true self.

8. No matter how distant or inaccessible this perspective seems to be, it is always close at hand, and you can always make the choice to be free. So, don’t stop until you are out of the box!

9. Ask yourself, “How would life look if I were out of the box right now? What would I be feeling . . thinking about . . or doing?” rather than asking yourself “Why am I in the box?” or “What is wrong with me that I am not out?”

10. If you feel really stuck, put the issue on a shelf until you are out of the box. Then you can view it with clarity, and resolve it.


home | key points | out-of-the-box moments | practice sheets 1 & 2

© 1999 - 2020 Warren Berland, Ph.D.